28-year-old man is found hiding $77,000 from his fianceé while she was paying for pretty much everything in their lives, making excuses when discovered: ‘I was planning on showing it to you as a surprise.’

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  • A person stacking coins on top of a table
  • My (F28) partner (M28) kept secret how much money he has in savings and let me pay for most things

    I've been in a relationship with my now fiancé for close to 10 years. We were high school sweethearts. Both of our field of studies are pretty high earning but I only do 4 years of college and an optional masters degree if needed.
  • Two years ago, he started a masters program in the city I work in and we decided to cohabit. We agreed that I'll handle the entire household finances. while he focused on school.
  • His field requires lengthy schooling. As a result, I ended up taking up the financial aspects of our relationship which I didn't have a problem with. I thought we were a team and once he completes his education
  • and starts working, he'll also support significantly (financially) in the relationship.
  • He had a good on campus part time job so I suggested he saves a significant amount of that money to go towards his tuition so he'll avoid taking loans. We're both immigrants who are very debt averse
  • After awhile, I asked him how much he had saved and he had nothing. This got me frustrated and it resulted in our first major argument. He said he had sent the money to take care of his family
  • I still stepped in and paid his fees because I didn't want us to start our marriage in debt (dumb me).
  • He always told me he was broke and I took care of everything. There were moments I was struggling financially but I couldn't rely on him for support.
  • Recently, I realized every argument we had no matter how insignificant ended in him making it about money.
  • I decided to go through his phone while he was sleeping. I was looking for financial apps. I found he had a CD account with over $77,000 in it. I was dumbfounded.
  • I'm still in a state of shock. I've been crying so much because I feel betrayed but I honestly don't know what to do.
  • I confronted him about it and he made light of the situation and said he planned on showing it to me as a surprise - which I don't believe.
  • How can I determine whether this relationship is salvageable after discovering my fiancé concealed significant savings while I covered most of our expenses? Is the relationship even salvageable?

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